Hey, I'm alive...

Hi everyone...sorry for the long blogging absence. We have been pretty busy here with an outreach team, a new church building, etc. and me keeping up on our team blog that I haven't had time to write here. Only tonight did I get a chance to check on many of my friend's blogs and was so encouraged and inspired that I had to write something....but I warn you, its been a long day and its late and its probably going to be a rambler...if you're not in the mood, "turn back now". :)

SOME THINGS I KNOW...
I have become convinced of some things lately and want to share them...sorry for being so self-indulgent... oh, and I KNOW these things, but I'm still working on implementing them...I am preaching to myself here as much as anyone...

1) GOD IS REAL, GOD IS BIG, GOD IS LOVE, and one way or another my focus should always be on Him
I am not a calvinist...there, I said it. BUT I do believe that God is in control. That He knows my steps, has full control of them, AND I can do nothing without Him...not even believe in Him, love Him or serve Him. So why, then "Oh foolish Christian...what God has begun in the spirit do I try to complete in the flesh"? (Galations 3:3, "caraphrase version"). Why do we stress? Why do we fret over plans? (I'm not saying, "why plan?" I'm saying why "fret" over plans). Why are we so severly disappointed at failure? Ours or others... Do we not really believe that God is control? Didn't he know what was going to happen anyway and so therefore is He - God Almighty - not able to take care of any of our "mistakes",etc... (that so often, I think in His economy are not even considered "mistakes" as much as "lessons") Why are we so disgusted at weakness in ourselves or others? Isn't God bigger than that? Isn't that just all part of needing a saviour? Why is that a surprise to us? If God is really God, why should I be shocked when man is man?

2) RELATIONSHIP IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT - with God and then with mankind
Jesus said "and this is eternal life that you might KNOW ME". "And by this all men will know that you are my disciples..that you have LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER". Not that you have a perfectly oiled smooth running program. Not that you have seamless presentation. Not that you all agree on everything and have only one opinion. Not that you NEVER stumble or fall. Not that you all look alike or goodness sakes -vote alike - but that in the midst of weakness, diversity, problems, growing, changing...that we LOVE EACH OTHER! "In this is all the law and the prophets are fulfilled...love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, soul, strength and your neighbor as yourself". Not ACT like I love you, but really love you...not FEEL like I love you, but really love you...meaning accept you where you are, I focus on YOU not what you do, but YOU who are made in the image of God and who Christ died for...are you hungry? are you cold? are you sad? do you need a hug? You are loved. I am loved. We are so little and God is so big and that is ok. And I fall so short of maintaining the many, many, many wonderful relationships God has given me....but I keep going.

3) LOVE DOES NOT EQUAL THAT I UNDERSTAND OR AGREE WITH EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO OR SAY
I have had, and still often have, unfortunately, an immature view of love. But over the years, from my amazing and long-suffering and deeply loving parents and my incredible, smart, talented siblings I am learning love. Love is not that I always understand you. Love is not that I always agree with you. Love is not that I even always LIKE you! :) Love is that I want the best for you. Love is that I support YOU, maybe not what you do, but YOU. Love is that the door to my heart is always open to you. Love sometimes means that the door to my home, my wallet, my whatever ISN'T open to you if that would not be best for you...if you are being self-destructive, hurtful to others, whatever...but my heart, it is always open. The most loving people are my friends and family who disagree with me on points but still welcome me in their hearts..names are needed here...Harvey and Ferne Denney, Matt and Kris Denney, Mark and Deborah Denney and their outstanding Christian, Nicholas, Ryan and Kyle; Janice Denney-Wood and Brent Wood and their amazing Caitlin, Michelle Knisley, Marianna and Jim Peipon and their clan, Tanya and Sergei Susidko and their little pirates, Katya Pilypuk, Janice Evans, Marilyn Gibbs, Jed Gourley and his outstanding family,Paul and Teri Sisemore...I'm sure there are so many more...these are the ones that come to mind at this late hour...don't feel left out! I maybe just have not put you to the test yet! ha! Or maybe I am delusionally convinced that you agree with me on everything! ha! :)

3) Ministry is honoring, worshipping and glorifying God and loving people
I haven't thought this one completely through (as opposed to those "scholarly diatribes" above! ha!), so bear with me...but this point works itself out in many ways...yes through organized religion sometimes, through "dis-organized" religion, through programs sometimes...but more often than not, in my opinion, simply through life! Do I live like God is really GOD ALMIGHTY WHO CREATED THE HEAVEN AND EARTH WITH THE WORD OF HIS MOUTH...or do I need to help Him out or everything is going to go to hell in a handbasket? Do I really walk in the Spirit in every aspect of what I do...yes, make plans, but be open to changing them...down to how I spend my time, my money, my affection, or is that all up to me? If I can honor, worship and glorify God and love people having a meal with them..go for it! If I can do that at my job, in a church service, GREAT! But if "form" and "routine" and "schedule" squeeze those things out - EVEN IF THAT IS PART OF THE CHURCH SERVICE - dump them in a second!

4) I am at once both the hugest failure in the world and also the greatest victor
I am a constant work in progress. I have weaknesses that could cause me to despair if I focus on them and not on God and his glory (as I have unfortunately done for many years). But these facts do not change the truth of God's nature and holiness. I live in the light and am not ashamed if my sins and weaknesses are revealed (although at first I might be, but not in such a way that leads me to live in constant concern over image, how I appear to others, whether all the ducks are in a row or not, etc.) because I regularly confess my faults to both God and to those around me...if a list of my sins were read to a crowd it would be nothing that those close to me were not already keenly aware of and probably be only half of what I have already seen in myself and confessed to others...be brutally honest with yourself, with God and with others and there is no need to fear being "revealed" to others! What could anyone say about me that, yes, might initially smart, but that once that initial sting is over I would say "well, yes, I know that is something I struggle with...anyone who knows me knows this, too...sigh...well, yes, its still here and it is in God's hands". Surprise! I mess up! Surprise! I'm weak! Surprise! I've got a lot to learn and grow and always will this side of heaven...but guess what? It's not about me, its about God. And in Him I am more than a conqueror, as Scripture tells me. So I rejoice in my weaknesses, because when I am weak, He is strong.

5) When it is all said and done, no one ever said "I wish I spent more time at work"...
No matter what that work is...saving lives, saving souls, curing cancer, etc. "I am sorry I didn't write that letter". "I am sorry I didn't go to that wedding". "I regret missing that recital, that game, that presentation of my friend, my child, my neighbor", "I should have called that person", or even "I really needed to just sit and pray", "I wish I would have made the time to be still and listen to God's voice", "Why didn't I just sit and sing to God? read His Word?"...but "we didn't get that project done when we wanted it to"? "we didn't have that physical detail ready for this deadline"..."I didn't get that document finished"... "I missed that meeting or that event of which there would be ten million more in my lifetime"? Maybe I am being too simplistic here, and maybe next year I will have a different perspective on this, but for now this is where I am. And its ok that I don't always live this way...God is changing me...but it is vital that I understand this point in my core and that I aspire to live by it, or I will never come near it ever.

Ok...with this I will have either welcomed some of you even closer into my heart and my life, which is core to all that I have been saying here, or just the opposite! There may be those that will now be assured that I am certifiably crazy, lazy, heretical or all of the above...but whatever the reaction - you will know me. There is no mask, there is no image to uphold, this is where I am. I can't be with you all, I can't even keep up with all my correspondences, etc. like I would like, but I can be real with you. I can keep my heart open to you. I can be vulnerable to you and in this I hope you know that I love you all very dearly.

Ok...ranting done..Gold star for those of you that made it through this. :) G'night. :)

This June in Prague...

This was painted on a wall in the little "village" where I live. There is about 3 blocks of shops, etc. here and it doesn't appear to be some sort of hotbed of political activity or anything. So I was a little surprised when I saw this. I'm not sure what it is connected to or supposed to mean (if anything) but naturally, as an American - what with the iconic image of Charlie Chaplin and the mention of war - I figured it was something directed at me, or should I say "US".

George W. was here this week, as I'm sure you all know. A friend of mine went to the protests to observe and said that she was upset. She reported that there was "only about 200 people" on hand (I'm not sure if that meant she expected more or less?) and that there was someone - he said he was a veteran from a recent US military conflict - that was severly criticizing the president, America, the military, etc. What upset her was not what he had to say, whether it was true or not, but was what another friend of mine would call the wide oversimplified "painting with a broom" that he was doing of some very complex subjects. (And forgive me, I realize that to some extent I am doing the same here).

But about this guy...he was upset. He was hurt. Maybe he even felt betrayed by his government. This is understandable. But to say that certain US entities are "the worst in the world"....??? Based on what? All of his only 24 years on this planet? His in-depth study of ALL the world's organizations? My friend and I agreed that it was easier to respect someone's point of view, even if we disagreed, when they took the time to state things fairly and - dare I say - even humbly.

Would he have said, "I realize I am young and have had no first hand contact with the...armies, prisons...governments...(fill in the blank to your choosing) of the vast majority of nations in the world, but nonetheless, based on what information is available to me, and my own first hand experience with the US ...."institution-of-choice"...I have come to the conclusion that they are the worst in the world"....THAT kind of statement would have earned my respect and caught my interest to hear more of what he had to say.

But that kind of calm reasoning doesn't make the news. I know. Even without my limited professional journalism experience, just the most surface perusal of today's headlines, I know that so often it is the screaming extremist (from whatever side, it doesn't matter) that sells papers. It is the extremist that gets people fired up, whether they are at the protest rally or in the church. I have been that extremist at times, I am sad to say. (And can still be? A work in progress...walking in grace...forgive me).

But you know what? That wasn't Jesus. He only got fired up (to my recollection, let me know if I'm forgetting) at the religious hypocrites that defamed God's name with their false religion that burdened the people and actually kept them from a real relationship with God. But the everyday person...the woman caught in adultery, the tax collector, the grieving sister, those broken and hurting and lacking faith...with those he spoke calmly, in love and with compassion.

A friend of mine has a great blog that spoke about the problem that Christians are known more, so often, for what they are AGAINST rather than for what they are all about or "for". He had another more recent post where a great preacher was railing against a teaching in the American church that horribly distorts the Gospel. Those are things to rail against! Those are things to be extreme about...religious hypocrisy and heresy. (check out those posts at Jake's blog).

But sinners? Broken people? I have been so blessed lately by various people being very kind and encouraging to me in the midst of correcting me...of helping me to see my weaknesses...of leading me in paths that maybe I am uncomfortable in but that I know are good for me, glorifying to God and ultimately I will be glad for. Those people are here on my team in Prague, on the pages of books I am reading, on the MP3s of sermons by my Pastor in CA that the church sends to me, and on the various blogs of dear friends of mine.

So, another rambling post by me...what else did ya expect? :) LOVE you all...

Pray for Ukraine

I am back in Prague - and glad to be - but will my heart always be in Kyiv? Right now it is. You may or may not have heard of the recent political upheaval going on in Ukraine. You can get some good information and insight through the BBC news site - (click here for just one story, but they - of course - have many on Ukraine -http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6694533.stm )and through this blog my friend tipped me to - www.markmckinnon.blogspot.com

I just remember standing on the streets of Kyiv during the Orange Revolution and being so full of hope. We were out there day and night, snow, cold...whatever. We were helping to hand out food, Bibles, Christian books...people were kind to one another, talking to one another...the streets were filled with protests and the "tent-city" but it was because the people were filled with hope! They truly believed things could change and that THEY could really make a difference.

This video by Maria Burmaka makes me cry when I see it now and think of how we felt then and how things seem now. But then I am reminded "from where comes our hope" - "from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth".

This summer will be a Franklin Graham Crusade in Kyiv, people will be coming from throughout Ukraine to hear the message of hope proclaimed once more. Please pray for Ukraine! Pray that people would come to know the saving grace of God, but also that Christians would stand up and once again protest! Not politically, but spiritually! That they would stand up against apathy, complacency and compromise and be on their knees before God and ask Him to once again fill Ukraine's people with hope! But not hope in a leader, or a political solution, but hope in God and His mercy. That Christians, filled by the power of the Holy Spirit would walk in righteous in their everyday lives so that it would be a wave that grows and grows and grows and eventually envelopes the country in righteous and the blessings that follow. Not through lobbying, etc. but through love, grace, mercy and the power of God's spirit.

I pray that there would come a time that NEVER again would I hear from or about Ukrainians, in response to questions as to"little sins" that "oh our people are just that way"...."its just our mentality"..."our pastors haven't taken a stand from the pulpit on this so people just don't know better"....I am not condemning Ukriane...I love Ukraine...and I still believe she and her people are better than such compromising answers! But these are the things I have heard from believers in response to questions about "little sins"...those "little foxes that ruin the vineyard".

And this isn't just Ukraine...this is all of us....myself first in line. Do we really think that little compromises won't eventually affect everything around us? Why is the Church in America so often weak and appearing no different than the world we supposedly claim to have the answer for? Could it be that we, the people of God, have lost our sense of holiness? I don't mean "don't do this, don't do that.." but rather a sense that what we do affects the whole picture. That we ARE a Body, interconnected spiritually and physically and that weakness, sickness, etc. sooner or later spreads to the whole body and affects us all.

Ok...Danny Foote may not give this rant an A+, but what is happening in Ukraine just touched a nerve in me that made me think of the bigger picture...

Ukrainians, my dear beloved friends, watch the video and remember and cry out to God to once again fill your country with hope...hope in God and His redemption! I am with you in my heart and soul...